The Simplicity of Happiness

One thing I have learned thus far: Life is defined significantly by the people you keep.

I am reminded again how lucky I am to have so many amazing, wonderful human beings in my life, helping me to be a better human being! I spent the weekend with the people I love most in my life, my family, eating, laughing, and playing boardames.

Happiness can really be that simple.

It’s Easy to Be Unhappy

It is easy to be unhappy. 

It is easy to focus on the day to day distractions while avoiding the bigger, underlying issues. It is easy to deflect and blame others, to make excuses for yourself or a situation. It is easy to take the low road, to give that person ‘just one more’ chance, to ‘wait and see’ how things play out, to sit in the safety of inaction.  

But happiness requires action. It requires rolling up your sleeves, pulling on your boots, and hiking up the mountain you’ve been avoiding–and sometimes all night, through sleet, snow, and storm. It requires thinking and work, a little risk, and, sometimes, pain.

…And it is more effort than most of us are willing to make, more risk than we are willing to face.  We would rather sit in the unhappiness, endure an unfulfilling job, live in a place we hate, stay in a relationship that is toxic, than risk being more unhappy than we already are. We are afraid to make that risk. But without taking that risk, we also have no chance at happiness.

Worse, the danger with tolerating unhappiness in your life is that unhappiness has an intrinsically infectious quality. It can start in one corner of your life and slowly seep into the rest if left unaddressed. While we can often contain our unhappiness for a time, manage it, ignore it, live with it and convince ourselves to be content, this fix is only temporary.  Soon enough it will grow to be present in so many aspects of our life that we simply won’t be able to ignore it, and pain becomes a certainty.

So, before it gets to that point, ask yourself today: 

  • What’s stopping you from being happy?  Why?
  • What big problem or toxic person are you avoiding dealing with?  

If you can’t quite figure it out the root of it all, or if you feel like you have a lot of things going on, try making a list. Don’t over think it the process. Set aside 5 minutes and write everything that comes to your mind that makes you unhappy. From there, choose the three things that give you the most stress, anxiety, or fear.

Once you’ve narrowed it down, then ask: 

  • What can I do today, in the present, to start addressing this?

Even if it is as small as acknowledging the problem out loud. Take steps today to identify the roots of your unhappiness and a map leading up and away from it. Then, tomorrow, take the first step.  

I’ll tell you right now, yes, it might not work out, You might get lost along the way, or hurt. You might end up somewhere completely unexpected or unhappy in a different way. But, without any action, there is also no hope for happiness.  

As Aristotle wrote, Happiness depends upon ourselves. 

-Caitlin Pontrella

2016 Reflection

It’s not about having time, it’s about making time. 

In 2016 I worked hard to make time. Struggling through 90,100+ hour weeks, I had deeply invested my time, energy, and soul into some really amazing people, events, places, and projects. It was a crazy balance game, and I didn’t always win, but I think I came out ahead…

And, if there was one lesson I learned through this process, it is that time, energy, and love are the three most valuable things I possess and can offer to a project, a person, and the world… AND that there is no such thing as ‘too busy’ when it comes to the important things and people in life. I have found that when something is actually important, I am able to make the time.

As I contemplate how and where and with whom to invest my time in in 2017, and what new things to make room for, I can’t help but feel completely overwhelmed by all that has been accomplished (dozens of playgrounds & installations, public school programs, workshops, national events, poetry, art, writing, travel, research, etc) and immense gratitude for all those who have joined me in my personal and professional journey this year, giving me in turn their time, energy, and love. So I must take a moment and thank you my world!

First, my amazing family. Sharon Jim Megan Samantha Vinny and all my aunts, uncles, cousins, extended & outlaws 🙂 Family is the most important thing in my life, and I am so unbelievably lucky to have such an supportive, loving, and PATIENT one. Thank you for putting up with my drama, and know you can always bring your drama to me.

Second, The Movement Creative family (both in nyc and afar). JesseNikkieJoseJohn Jonny E Giuseppe Brycej-dawg Brian: You are such a beautiful community of thinkers and movers–We really are a unique group with the power to change the world.

Third, all the patient and loving support of my friends, both new and old, both here and afar. You know who you are. I couldn’t possibly list all of you, but know that I am always here in whatever way I can. “Beauty is not who you are on the outside, it is the wisdom and time you gave away to save another struggling soul like you”

Fourth, all the powerful professional insight, inspiration, and collaboration with organizations and individuals in bringing to life some of the most amazing events and projects in both my personal, professional, and parkour world, including the installation at governors island, the Art of Retreatt, the Womens Ntl. gathering, and over 2 dozen playground construction & installation projects+programs, events, and more in nyc. Kristine Blake AndyAdam Alan Francis SpontaneousInterventions Mark Rochester ParkourOrigins Parkour Urban Movement Parkour Horizons Pinnacle Parkour Urban Evolution Breathe Parkour Calgary North Hub Parkour Training CenterInnate Movement Parkour -Kingston, NY Play Project Fight or Flight Academy Dan Iaboni Martin And SO MANY MORE PEOPLE! It could take me forever to list you all <3

And finally, just a small call out to a few particular individuals who had a very deep and meaningful impact or connection with me this past year. Julie Angel Steve Leung Steve Zavitz Dan Edwardes Evan Beyer Natalia LaPré Boltukhova Mikkel Rugaard Melanie Hunt Brandee Laird Sammi Patel Ahz Ender Paul Graves Jade ‘muchness’ Shaw Danielle Hare

“The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers & cities; but to know someone who thinks & feels with us, & who, though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden.”-Goethe

Thank you for being my community, my friends, my family, my garden. Let’s destroy 2017. 😉

M: Reflection on Movement & Self-Discovery (Joy, Power, Purpose, Privilege, and more)

Why Move?

On Movement & The Discovery of Authentic Self

Movement & Play is an antidote to most of the personal suffering that human beings experience. On some deep level almost everyone feels insecure, afraid, separated, isolated, and unsure of his or her own authenticity and value.

Unstructured play or movement for the sake of movement is a highly authentic form of self expression.  By setting our own challenges and seeking our own solutions we engage in a very deep and personal form of self-empowerment and honest communication.  It may take a long time to move without fear of judgement, unknowing preconception, or need for external feedback, but ultimately this process of discovering your movement and creating and exploring your body is one that leads to an truly honest understanding and expression of self.

Through long term movement and in overcoming our challenges we release ourselves from our insecurities.  The universal nature of movement as a fundamental human activity helps break down barriers of isolation, for all need and participate in movement on some level.

Movement reaffirms our sense of individuality while welcoming us into a larger global community.

Miscellaneous Thoughts

Physical & Psychological Health

It goes without saying that there are serious psychological benefits to integrating movement into your everyday life.  Movement releases chemicals and hormones that positively impact your mental state.  It also of course positively impacts your body.

Physical Intelligence.

Movement is a path to physical intelligence: being able to use your body in any scenario effectively.  You fine tune the various senses and abilities, from balance to explosive power generation.  Your body is like an intelligent machine, and the more frequently you use it, the better you get at handling it.

Upkeep of the Vessel.

Take care of your body; You only receive one body in this life. Your body is kind of like a car. The longer you have it, the more miles you put on it, the more worn out it will become. It is of the utmost importance that you take care of it to the best of your ability, by putting in good fuel, winterizing it correctly, repairing parts as needed.

You only get one body in this life. It is your responsibility to take care of it. Your body is the vessel of your soul; the more healthy the vessel, the better off the soul.   We move to keep the vessel healthy, and in turn the soul happy.

Privilege

If you have the use of your body, you have the responsibility to use it. Do not be so frivolous to take advantage of a privilege you have been given. Not everyone has the use of their limbs.

Social Development

Movement, especially in the form of play with others, is an amazing medium through which to explore and develop a social identity.  Movement with others will begin to reveal to you your own insecurities and fears, as well as your personal strengths and confidence.  Social movement allows you to explore different fantasies, as well as test out various versions of potential interactions.  You are allowed, within the safe space of play, to explore who you are.

Joy

I move because it brings me joy.  Movement is one of the greatest pleasures, the use of our human bodies. It can be as satisfying as physical intimacy, as pleasurable as difficult mental puzzle, as gratifying as any great pleasure in the world.

Movement is joyous because movement is primal. It is essential to our human nature. To move is to return to that primal nature, to tap into some larger, historical energy that spans time & space. Everyone moves, before and after.  Movement is apart of culture, society, our history as human beings.

Movement is joyous because it is mine. No one can take movement away from me. Even if I had to sit still, I move. My spirit moves.  

Power

I move because it makes me feel powerful. The task of facing an obstacle, creating a strategy, testing that strategy over a course of time, refining, retesting, and ultimately overcoming (in one way or another)… this kind of mental and physical endurance to achieve a physical goal. I love it. It makes me feel like I can accomplish anything I set my body and mind to.  

Movement is one of the most all consuming and providing sources of power. Through movement, I am capable of anything. In Movement I am as capable as the next human being; nothing can hold me back. I don’t need a degree, I don’t need past experience. Everyone comes to the table with everything they need to excel and achieve human greatness: their bodies and their minds.

And you don’t need to necessarily have full or healthful function of either of those things in order to derive the power that comes through play. Again, the truest form of power in movement is the setting and achieving of personal goals, the realization that you are capable!

POWER.

Purpose

One of my favorite quotes from Marcus Aurelius goes as follows:

“In the morning, when you rise unwillingly, remember this thought: I am rising to perform the work of a human being. Why am I dissatisfied if I am going to do the very thing for which I exist? Or have I been made for this; to lie in my bed-clothes and to keep myself warm?”

2016.05.19 On Solitude and Love

“What should I do about the wild and the tame? The wild heart that wants to be free, and the tame heart that wants to come home. I want to be held. I don’t want you to come too close. I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights. I don’t want to tell you where I am. I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me. I want to be with you.”  – Jeanette Winterson

The learning of holding space between myself and you; to love your fire but to not stand too close because you do not care who you burn down. You will burn me down.

I long for love, belonging. To be seen, held. And I want it from you. But I fear your touch. I dread your look. I anticipate your words with unease.

Is this love?

2014.08.26 On Risk-Taking

“And then there is the most dangerous risk of all – the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.” ― Randy Komisar, Monk and the Riddle: The Education of a Silicon Valley Entrepreneur

I am so worried that I wont be able to make heads or tails of my life. That I won’t make a difference, that my life won’t matter. I grind every day to make money doing something I have no real passion for. The only thing that keeps me going is staying up late working myself into the ground in the empty hours of the day

I frantically fill up the empty hours of the day with more work–an attempt to build something that I can eventually create a life of meaning around.

Am I being complacent? Am I playing it safe?