Highlights from The Roots of Sport→

Unless you are a part of the niche sport of cricket, this is likely the first time you are hearing of Mike Brearley–professional cricketer, writer, and psychoanalysis. Two of his books are on my current reading list–The Art of Captaincy and On Form.

Brearley himself is an inspiration figure, described as having ‘a degree in people,’ he took on the helm of leadership and captaincy, not just for his team but for the community that he wished to see. He did not shy away from speaking his mind and taking a political stand against apartheid, and wrote extensively on the value of sport.

Recently I came across this incredible article On The Roots of Sport, penned for the British Pscyhoanalytical Society. As I try to pull excerpts to highlight I am resisting copy-pasting a sizeable chunk, so I highly recommend giving it a read (5 minutes).

On The Value of Sports

“[Through Sports] the child and the adult have to learn to cope with the emotional ups and downs of victory and defeat, success and failure. They – we – gradually manage to keep going against the odds, to struggle back to form, to recognize the risks of complacency. We have to learn to deal with inner voices telling us we are no good, and with voices telling us we’re wonderful. In sport the tendencies to triumph when we do well and to become angry or depressed at doing badly are often strong; we have to find our own ways of coping with them. Arrogance and humiliation have to be struggled against, whilst determination, proper pride and good sportsmanship are struggled towards. “

“Sport calls too for a subtle balancing of planning and spontaneity, of calculation and letting go, of discipline and freedom.”

” …having disciplined ourselves, having set ourselves according to the situation of the game, we then have to let ourselves go, trusting to our craftsmanship, skill and intuitive responsiveness, without further interference from the conscious mind. “

” The moments for the sportsman when body and mind are at one, when we are completely concentrated and completely relaxed, aware of every relevant detail of the surroundings but not obsessed or hyper-sensitive to any set of them, confident without being over-confident, aware of dangers without being over-cautious – such rare states of mind are akin to being in love. They involve a marriage between the conscious control mentioned above with the allowing of a more unconscious creativity through the body’s knowledge. “

On The Value of Movement

Frederick James Wilfred, 1955

“For those to whom sport doesn’t appeal, it seems futile, pointless. They remember hours of misery at compulsory school games on cold sporting fields. They were perhaps physically awkward, and picked last.

Yet every small child, before self-doubt, and invidious comparison with other children, gets a grip, takes pleasure in his or her bodily capacities and adroitness. […] Walking, jumping, dancing, catching, kicking, climbing, splashing, using an implement as a bat or racquet – all these offer a sense of achievement and satisfaction.

[…]

Moreover, this development in coordination is part of the development of a more unified self. Instead of being subject, as babies, to more or less random, stimulus-response movements of our limbs, we learn to act in the world according to central intentions and trajectories. We begin to know what we are doing and what we are about.

On Sport vs Play

“Sport proper starts to emerge when competition with others plays a more central role alongside the simpler delight in physicality. ‘I can run faster than you, climb higher, wrestle you to the floor’. “

On Competition and Human Nature

“If human beings were not combative no one would have invented sport. But if human beings were not also cooperative neither team nor individual games would have come into existence. “

“The Latin etymology of both ‘rival’ and ‘compete’ reflect this fact: rivalis meant ‘sharing the same stream or river bank’, competens meant ‘striving together with’, ‘agreeing together’, as in ‘competent’. “

Sport & Self-Expression

” For many people otherwise inclined to be inhibited or self-conscious, sport offers a unique opportunity for self-expression and spontaneity. Within a framework of rules and acceptable behaviour, sportspeople can be whole-hearted. Such people – including me – owe sport a lot; here we begin to find ourselves, to become the selves that we have the potential to be.

Freedom and Discipline

“Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose – and commit myself to – who and what is best for me.” – Paulo Coelho

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No one is free from commitments, despite what they think.

I have met many people over the years who are ‘afraid of commitment’ or seek to live a life without commitments.  However, this is a fundamentally dishonest and immature way of thinking, and usually reflective of a lack of self awareness.

We all have commitments in our lives, whether or not we wish to acknowledge them:  

  • Commitments to our work, to show up on time and do our best. Even if we are just working for ourselves. 
  • Commitments to where we live, from paying landlords and banks to keeping the space habitable.
  • Commitments to our friends and family, to be there and care for them in time of need, to offer advice, to celebrate, to show up on time, etc.
  • Most importantly, We ALL make promises to ourselves, to eat better, sleep more, read more, go to the gym regularly, and so on

Everyone has some distribution of commitments in the categories above, though they might look different from person to person.

Even things that seem like non-commitments are in fact the opposite. To choose not to have children, to choose not to buy a house or to get married. We are simply committing ourselves to a different, ‘non-traditional’ style of life, but it is a commitment nonetheless.

So when someone approaches me and says they aren’t ready for commitment, or that they want to live free of commitments, what they actually should be saying is ‘I dont want this commitment’. 

Unhappiness in Commitment

So why do so many people end up unhappy in their commitments? 

  • We enter into commitments prematurely, lacking all the information.
  • We enter into commitments without understanding fully what is expected of us on our end .
  • We fail to negotiate terms we are comfortable with
  • We stay longer than we should, either because we are afraid or we don’t know how to leave (’feeling trapped’) or don’t realize we could (’promises of forever’)

By this way, many of us end up disempowered, frustrated, and wary of future commitments, not realizing it is our fault we are unhappy, and not the commitment itself. 

Freedom

When we start to realize that our whole life is essentially a collection of different commitments we are making to ourselves and others, and when we wake up and see exactly where those commitments already exist, we gain the ability to negotiate the terms of those commitments.

This is how we become an active participant in our lives. By acknowledging commitments, negotiating their terms, and choosing which ones you will honor and which ones you will let go: this is freedom.

Daily Reminder

Identify the commitments in your life, and the ones you are avoiding. Walk away from the toxic, embrace those that nourish, and add new ones that add value to your life.

-Caitlin Pontrella

2014.08.26 On Risk-Taking

“And then there is the most dangerous risk of all – the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.” ― Randy Komisar, Monk and the Riddle: The Education of a Silicon Valley Entrepreneur

I am so worried that I wont be able to make heads or tails of my life. That I won’t make a difference, that my life won’t matter. I grind every day to make money doing something I have no real passion for. The only thing that keeps me going is staying up late working myself into the ground in the empty hours of the day

I frantically fill up the empty hours of the day with more work–an attempt to build something that I can eventually create a life of meaning around.

Am I being complacent? Am I playing it safe?

Jim Morrison on Taking Off The Mask

“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.”

Jim Morrison