You don’t need to waste your time on people who only want you around when it fits their needs.
“When you really know somebody you can’t hate them. Or maybe it’s just that you can’t really know them until you stop hating them.” – Orson Scott Card
There is a great podcast interview with Laura Dern where she talks about actively seeking out characters who she initially hates, often out of a desire to understand them, and hopefully come to love them.
If you put someone on a pedestal they have no choice but to look down on you
People are not good to each other.
too much
too little
or too late
too fat
too thin
or too bad
laughter or
tears
or immaculate
unconcern
haters
lovers
armies running through streets of pain
waving wine bottles
bayoneting and fucking everyone
or an old guy in a cheap quiet room
with a photograph of Marilyn Monroe.
there is a loneliness in this world so great
that you can see it in the slow movement of
a clock’s hands.
there is a loneliness in this world so great
that you can see it in blinking neon
in Vegas, in Baltimore, in Munich.
people are tired
strafed by life
mutilated either by love or no
love.
we don’t need new governments
new revolutions
we don’t need new men
new women
we don’t need new ways
we just need to care.
people are not good to each other
one on one.
people are just not good to each other.
we are afraid.
we think that hatred signifies
strength.
that punishment is
love.
what we need is less false education
what we need are fewer rules
fewer police
and more good teachers.
we forget the terror of one person
aching in one room
alone
unkissed
untouched
cut off
watering a plant alone
without a telephone that would never
ring
anyway.
people are not good to each other
people are not good to each other
people are not good to each other
and the beads swing and the clouds obscure
and dogs piss upon rose bushes
the killer beheads the child like taking a bite
out of an ice cream cone
while the ocean comes in and goes out
in and out
in the thrall of a senseless moon.
and people are not good to each other.
-Charles Bukowski, Fire
“Anyone who is in love is making love the whole time, even when they’re not. When two bodies meet, it is just the cup overflowing. They can stay together for hours, even days. They begin the dance one day and finish it the next, or—such is the pleasure they experience—they may never finish it. No eleven minutes for them.”
Paulo Coelho
“We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love.” -Sigmund Freud
2012.04.03 On Honesty & Respect
Without honesty and respect, there can be no friendship, no love, no life worthwhile.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi
“Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with those who are reckless with yours.” – Mary Schmich
Philip Roth on the Danger of Love
“The only obsession everyone wants: ‘love.’ People think that in falling in love they make themselves whole? The Platonic union of souls? I think otherwise. I think you’re whole before you begin. And the love fractures you. You’re whole, and then you’re cracked open.” The Dying Animal by Philip Roth