“Many people try to avoid pressure, yet the absence of any tension or pressure usually creates a sense of boredom and the lackluster experience of life that so many people complain about.” – Anthony Robbins
Erikson: We deserve more than moderation.
“You keep telling me about moderation. That a little is enough. But sometimes for some of us, a little is not enough. Because, when it comes to something like wild walks or vulnerability or truth or heart – racing conversation or ecstatic contemplation or mind bending intimacy or all that catapults us into the flow, form and timelessness of our own aliveness, I am telling you that we deserve more than moderation.”
Victoria Erickson
A person who never learned to trust confuses intensity with intimacy, obsession with care, and control with security.”
Patrick Carnes, MD
Life doesn’t wait until you’re ready.
“Life doesn’t wait until you’re ready. While we’re busy developing ourselves, time is quickly zooming on: Favoring those who are not ready either but who want to try anyway. Who want to challenge themselves by taking chances. Who want to grow into being ready. And who aren’t afraid to look a little stupid while they’re figuring things out.
The big steps in life – the big leaps forward – never wait until we’re ready to take them. That connection you’ve been too scared to make. That person you’ve been too scared to love. That job you’ve been dreaming about for as long as you can remember – none of them are waiting to waltz into your life as soon as you’re emotionally prepared for them.
We become strong by first being weak. We become capable by first being incapable. And we become ready by first being entirely unprepared. The goal isn’t to know everything right away. The goal is to waltz into the unknown and declare yourself worthy and capable of being there. To live out the chaos until it’s clear.”
Read the whole article on Thought Catalogue
“Some people drain you and others provide soul food. Get in the company of those who feed your spirit and learn to release the rest.”
“You’ll get over it…” It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don’t get over it because ‘it” is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?” – Jeanette Winterson
2016.05.19 On Solitude and Love
“What should I do about the wild and the tame? The wild heart that wants to be free, and the tame heart that wants to come home. I want to be held. I don’t want you to come too close. I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights. I don’t want to tell you where I am. I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me. I want to be with you.” – Jeanette Winterson
The learning of holding space between myself and you; to love your fire but to not stand too close because you do not care who you burn down. You will burn me down.
I long for love, belonging. To be seen, held. And I want it from you. But I fear your touch. I dread your look. I anticipate your words with unease.
Is this love?
Our First Apartment
An iron-barred
plant-laden window,
guarded by the Buddha,
gating out the world.
Cold sunlight
on warm wooden floors
scratched up by a table
built for building a community
together.
Teacups.
Boardgames.
Blankets from your sister.
Books.
So many books
color coded and marked up,
separating you from me and here from
there
and
A couch you hated, and
the art.
Bay windows and
the bedroom walls
soaked with words
from whispered conversations
that drew us
deep
into the night and
into each other.
I didn’t realize it,
when we first moved in.
I swear,
It didn’t look like a battleground.
How is your heart today?
I recently came across this blog post “The Disease of Being Busy.” There is so much to consume in this post, so I recommend just taking the five minutes and giving a read.
I am not asking how many items are on your to-do list, nor asking how many items are in your inbox. I want to know how your heart is doing, at this very moment. Tell me. Tell me your heart is joyous, tell me your heart is aching, tell me your heart is sad, tell me your heart craves a human touch. Examine your own heart, explore your soul, and then tell me something about your heart and your soul.
Tell me you remember you are still a human being, not just a human doing. Tell me you’re more than just a machine, checking off items from your to-do list. Have that conversation, that glance, that touch. Be a healing conversation, one filled with grace and presence.
Put your hand on my arm, look me in the eye, and connect with me for one second. Tell me something about your heart, and awaken my heart. Help me remember that I too am a full and complete human being, a human being who also craves a human touch.
And she goes on, asking some piercing questions…
Whatever happened to a world in which kids get muddy, get dirty, get messy, and heavens, get bored? Do we have to love our children so much that we overschedule them, making them stressed and busy — just like us?
What happened to a world in which we can sit with the people we love so much and have slow conversations about the state of our heart and soul, conversations that slowly unfold, conversations with pregnant pauses and silences that we are in no rush to fill?
How did we create a world in which we have more and more and more to do with less time for leisure, less time for reflection, less time for community, less time to just… be?”