On Storytelling

A true hero doesn’t know they’re the hero.
A true villain knows they’re the villain.
The innocent think they are guilty.
The guilty know they are guilty.
The truth-tellers fear liars.
Liars fear the truth-tellers.

If You Let Me Play: Inclusivity in Parkour & Sports

The Battle of the Sexes

“The more you know about history, the more you know about yourself and the more you can shape the future.”  – Billie J King

In 1973, Billie J. King faced off against Bobby Riggs in a notorious historical sporting event dubbed “The Battle of the Sexes.” This mens-vs-womens exhibition tennis match was outrageous in its visual fanfare and publicity with openly sexist commentary broadcast across public television leading up to the event.

“Hell, we know there is no way she can beat me,” Riggs remarked, despite being almost 30 years older than King, “She’s a stronger athlete than me and she can execute various shots better than me, but when the pressure mounts and she thinks about 50 million people watching on TV, she’ll fold. That’s the way women are.

The physical and emotional inferiority of women was a publicly held and promoted belief, “I’m not only interested in [winning for the] glory for my sex,” Riggs continued, “but …to set women’s lib back twenty years, to get women back into the home, where they belong.”

What happened?

King beat Riggs, sweeping the match in three sets, and it became one of the most impactful moments for women in sports and society. It drew massive attention to the issue of equity and gender in sports and inspired a generation to take action.

Your Mom Was Told She Couldn’t.

For many people reading this, 1973 is 50-something years ago and no more than a line in history. For my mother, 1973 was her senior year in high school and an incredibly defining time in her life.

Theresa Shank, Number 12, goes up for a shot in a 1975 game against Towson State. Shank played for the Mighty Macs of Immaculata College, a tiny women-only school in Pennsylvania. The team won the first three women’s college basketball national titles, beginning in 1972. (Immaculata University for AP)

She was a self-proclaimed tomboy who balanced basketball with ballet. She loved science, astronomy, and the outdoors, and planned to go into forestry and the natural sciences. While she was strong, intelligent, beautiful, she did not believe it. Her childhood experiences taught her that she was viewed as having ‘less value’ as a woman and human—all because she was engaged in non-gender-conforming activities (sports and sciences).

If you’re missing context: Only 7% of students participating in high school sports in the 1970s were women; Only 2% in college. The cultural climate, as the Kings-Riggs match reflects, discouraged women enjoying sports and sent a clear message that participation in sports would result in public shaming, humiliation and emotional abuse, and being considered less valuable as a woman, mate, and human.

My other still got on the court and played, despite the her family, friends, coaches, and community telling her she didn’t have the strength, ability, intelligence, and value because she was a woman. She applied to college and earned a degree in education, dove into astronomy, and picked up computers and video games for fun. She didn’t let a backwards societal expectation stop her from pursuing her interests and dreams, or define her worth.

Unfortunately my mothers experiences aren’t unique to her generation. In 2020 our government, major companies, organizations, and communities are often led by people who grew up in a time where women were viewed as less than men; our parents, teachers, mentors, bosses, and friends all have been apart of this experience, and often knowingly or unknowingly, pass their biases along.

IF YOU LET ME PLAY

“I will learn what it means to be strong if you let me play sports.” 

Participation in sports has numerous benefits. Through games and training, we learn about human nature and how to navigate social relationships. We practice dealing with conflict, designing solutions, and taking risks. Identity is formed, as well as friendships. Women in particular also benefit from higher levels of confidence and the likelihood of earning better grades as well as lower levels of depression and being less likely to be involved in an unintended pregnancy.

Despite this, American society has continued to resist women’s participation in sports. It is easy to write off a sexist tennis match from 50 years ago as ancient history, but between 1990-today, we have numerous examples of how far we have not progressed.

IF YOU LET ME PLAY | NIKE | 1995
In 1995 Nike aired a landmark commercial called “If you let me play,” highlighting benefits to participation in sports for women. In its language though it reflected the attitude persisting in society.“If” you let me play’ was an acknowledgement of the gendered gatekeeping that existed. Fathers, coaches, commentators–there was still the question of if women should even be allowed to play.

‘Sports and strength were designated as male arenas.’ If you let me play recognized that any woman who dared to venture in was risking a lot more than just winning and losing a game—she was challenging a social construct.

LIKE A GIRL | ALWAYS | 2004

Twenty years later in 2014 Always releases their #LikeAGirl campaign in an effort to reclaim the phrase. The video opens with adult women as well as adult and youth men demonstrating what it meant to run, throw, and fight ‘like a girl.’ Their demonstrations reflect the story we hold and often pass on as a society–that sports and strength aren’t for girls. Like A Girl revealed the persisting unspoken belief of women being weaker.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjJQBjWYDTs

It was an advertisement I also deeply related to. To this day, every major academic, athletic, and professional accomplishment has been subtly undercut by the addition of three small words: “You’re smart, good, strong… for a girl.” 

Women still experience in sports that their status is secondary to men and that their participation ‘doesn’t really matter.’ according to a 2002 study by McClung and Blinde. There is also fear of social ostrasiation—with many girls facing name calling and belittling for being seen as too strong “butch,” “masculine,” “dyke,” etc.

While there have been many organizations and movements dedicated to including women in sports, there is still a great deal of cultural de-conditioning that has to occur today.

Women in Parkour

The North American Womens Parkour Gathering in Toronto. 2013. Anya Chibis

When I found Parkour in 2007, I was concluding a successful high school athletic career. I lettered in all my sports, participated in national competitions, broke records, and was coaching younger students. I was fortunate to have supportive coaches that never made me feel inferior due to being a woman. I was treated, most of the time, as an equal by my male team-mates and respected as a leader in the larger community. My parents also gave me an empowered (and priveledged) childhood—reminding me that I was strong, smart, and beautiful.

At the same time I knew women on teams in other towns, in other eras, who were put down, treated as second-tier, under- or un-funded, ignored, and so forth, sometimes not just for their gender but their race and orientation as well.

Having played in whole, healthy, and empowering spaces, my early experiences in parkour stand out in painful, stark contrast.

In 2007 the discipline was still new in the States. The sport was loosely held together and defined, with culture varying vastly depending on where and with whom you were training. In-person communities were primarily established in major cities, with limited access to coaches and leadership. 

Back then I frequently found myself outnumbered at events, often being the only woman amongst 50-60 participants. I navigated cat-calling and sexual harassment. I was treated differently, being regularly reminded that as a woman I was weaker and less capable. 

There was a New York Times article around 2009 or 2010 interviewing a female practitioner at the time who reiterated herself that girls couldn’t cat pass. I remember (and still to this day sill see) video commentary online that praise girls looks over their abilities. At one point became the target of negative, aggressive commentary (name calling, threats of sexual assault) when I had an article posted on American Parkour in an effort to speak up and out about some of the cultural issues needing to be addressed in regards to gender. 

In 2011 I attended a national jam on the east coast when, walking down the street in a large group of male practitioners, a couple of them began catcalling random female passerbys. “Hey yo ma, wanna come on over here? Wanna get pregnant?” I remember watching the two girls across the street pick up their pace and walk faster, knowing just how scary and uncomfortable it probably was. I was one of three girls there that weekend, and it was such a jarring, ugly experience that I never went back to that community and still remember it to this day.

After a while, I started to pull back. I stopped showing up to jams and large group training and opted to work on my movement solo. I refused to share videos and didn’t participate in online discussions. I wanted to play, the same way my mom wanted to play, but didn’t know how to get onto the ’court’ and not feel defeated before the game began. 

Breaking Barriers Together

“Breaking down barriers… is a part of who a female athlete is.” 

It is so valuable to have female role models of a wide range of body types, abilities, colors, ages, and backgrounds. We also shouldn’t underestimate the power of having spaces where women and girls can get onto the playing field more easily, that feel safe and welcoming, and have quality leadership.

I think back to my early experiences in parkour and how invaluable it would have been to have female mentors and role models to look up to as I struggled with my movement, body image, and self within the sport. I think about how powerful and enriching those experiences in high school were, and with my family, where I got to be apart of an inclusive and respectful community. It was easy for me to show up and focus on overcoming the other obstacles of my physical and mental training when I knew I would be met kindness, support, and equality.

A lot has changed over the last decade in the Parkour community. Today many communities in the United States run regular womens meetups and have female coaches. There are thousands of videos online of women running, jumping, and climbing, with both men and women giving praise and critique on the skills. Major events have popped up worldwide, including the North American Womens Gathering, which runs every July and draws in women from 25+ different states, of all ages and abilities, as well as She Can Trace and Wam Jam and the Copenhagen Girls Gathering. Conversations, presentations, posts, and articles are being written and discussed on how to build more inclusive experiences and involve more women. There is a persistent interest among leadership in doing and being better as a sporting community.

However, there is still a lot to be done. Many gyms lack female leadership and fail to connect and retain girl students. The majority of all jams worldwide are organized by men without significant input from women, and I’ve seen far too many educational events in recent years fail with no excuse to bring in female coaches.  There is an unresolved debate of equal prize money for emergent competitions and experiences with sexism and harassment are still being reported by female practitioners.

An Inclusive Community

I want to zoom out here and somehow bring this to a close for now. I’ve focused deeply on my and the female experience within sports and parkour, but what women experience is not unique. I have always held to be true that Parkour, and sports in general, should be a celebration of all human beings and abilities, but I also recognize we do not live in a world or hold experiences that reflect that.

As I said earlier, It’s important to recognize that we unknowingly inherit so many of our biases and ideas of self from our parents, role models, communities, and media. Our generation today has been raised and formed by mothers and fathers, teachers and mentors, public figures and personalities that were taught the inferiority of the female sex, as well as the inferiority of people of color, people of older age, and people with disabilities.

While we have come far, we can not deny there is still racism, sexism, ableism, and ageism in sports, and massive barriers to participation for these populations. Some of these barriers we can see but many more are embedded in the way our cities, systems, and communities think and function–often operating well beyond the bounds of the sporting activity itself.

We need to work together as a community to unpack and address the biases and assumptions that all of us hold around practice and performance. We need to make adjustments to the spaces we play in, when we play, how we play, and how much it costs to play–not just financially but emotionally as well.

It’s not quick or overnight. For those oppressed, underserved, or under-resourced communities, trauma runs deep and is daily felt. I don’t have an immediate solution. There is no ‘do these 10 things’. On a large scale we need acknowledgement and allyship, as well as awareness and education.

However, I do want to offer a few things that individuals and small organizations can start doing today in an effort to invite more people into our community.

  • Using and share more diverse images and videos
  • Storytelling and storysharing experiences, and seeking out stories from those who might be withholding their stories due to being silenced in the past. Listening and validating stories that are reported.
  • Establishing new community agreements in partnership with all community members (all genders, color, able-bodyness, age). Make sure there are people at the decision making table that are the same as those being impacted by those decisions.
  • Self educating and facilitating conversations around anti-sexism, anti-racism, anti-ageism, and anti-ableism in your networks. 
  • Cultivating diverse leadership, especially among coaches and mentors. Specifically reaching out and encouraging participation and engagement. Ensuring that diverse leadership is actually teaching diverse groups. 
  • Inviting diverse coaches to events. 

These are small things you can start doing today, and there is a great deal of work that really needs to be done. But, big or small, we can all contribute to creating a community that respects and celebrates people of all dimensions of diversity.

Whats Being Done?

You can also support organizations and events that have emerged to support moving towards a more inclusive community. There has been some amazing efforts (and always happy to add to this list if you are running a program or offering resources!).

  • Parkour Visions (PKV) has its annual Movement For All fund, coming up this December 1, supporting regional and national programs for under-served populations including an Adaptive Parkour Program, Fearless Parkour for Seniors, Free classes in communities, and youth programming targetting low income and at risk populations. Monthly donors support these and other programs on the rise.
  • ALL BODIES AND MINDS: I also have seen organizations such as Move to Inspire and Urban Movement launching Adaptive Programs for individuals with disabilities. PKV will be also releasing an open-source curriculum and teaching resources for people interested in starting their own program in early 2020! Espirit Concrete is bringing together mental health with movement through their program development. In 2017 I worked with the Movement Creative to design and build an Adaptive Parkour Obstacle Course with the NYC Department of Transportation.
  • ALL AGES: PK Move is pushing research and programming for seniors in parkour. Parkour over 40 is an online group sharing videos and content for those pushing the practice into older ages. Forever Young, a program of Parkour Dance Company, also helped lay some incredible groundwork for seniors in parkour. Parkour Generations Americas ran an 8-day course focused on improving body awareness and increasing fall prevention.
  • ALL GENDERS: There is the See & Do Movement started by Julie Angel to capture and normalize women in parkour in the media, as well as her larger body of photo, video, and written work addressing ageism and diversity. The North American Womens Gathering will be hosted in San Francisco in 2020, and initiatives like She Can Trace from Parkour Generations, WamJam in Australia, and Girls Gathering in Denmark all strive to increase female and gender diverse participation in parkour.
  • ALL COLORS: Obsidian Gathering was a black pride jam that ran in 2017 to celebrate black practitioners and encourage civic engagement–with hopefully another running soon!
  • ALL BACKGROUNDS: There are also online groups such as Parkour Instructors for Underprivileged Youth. Parkour Visions was awarded a $50,000 grant to run free and lowcost parkour programming for at-risk youth between 2018-2019 in Seattle. Similarly, they run donation based classes, as does The Movement Creative in NYC, with commitments to ensuring no one is denied access and opportunity to move due to financial restraints.
  • MORE RESOURCES: Platforms like Art of Retreat have presentations every year dealing with some aspect of sexism, racism, ableism, or ageism–Alice Popejoy, Chrischelle Borhani, Julie Angel, Natalia Boltukhova, Kasturi Torchia, Nancy Lorentz all delivered incredible presentations and facilitated dialogues around some element of inclusivity (and I’m sure I’m missing several). The facebook group Parkour Research is a place where you can engage in dialogue with the community and access a list of research as well.

As David Zirin wrote in a Peoples History of Sports“If we challenge sports to be as good as they can be–a force to break down walls that divide us, a motor for inclusion–they can propel us toward a better world, a world worth play in–and worth fighting for’.”

Dont Retire, Kid – Try Parkour!

2015 Playground Installation, Governors Island, Caitlin Pontrella, Jesse Danger, Nikkie Zanevsky

❗️62% of kids quit organized team sports by age 11 according to a recent study conducted by the Aspen Institute Project Play with the Utah State University Families in Sports Lab.

The Aspen Institute Project Play is running a new campaign called Don’t Retire, Kid. On their launch page they wonder aloud as to why kids are really leaving sports.

Are we really wondering why?

A quick read of Until it Hurts or The Most Expensive Game In Town, two books by Mark Hyman, reveal just how expensive sport participation is… and I’m not just talking $$$.

Maybe we need to start looking at alternatives to traditional competitive team sports? Maybe we need to start calling out the toxic competitive environments, overemphasis on athletic elitism, and soaring costs for participating? Maybe we need to value more highly healthy self expression, civic participation, and community engagement in our practice? 

This is just one reason I love Parkour and play. They are fundamentally non competitive, focused on the development of individual identity and community relationship. There is a low barrier to access–financially, physically, personally. In our programs at Parkour Visions we encourage students to develop their own style and pursue movement that feels healthy, we support collaborative learning and gameplay, and encourage leadership, responsibility, and environmental stewardship. Children or adults–there is another way.

Sports can be more than besting your opponent, earning a college scholarship, or losing that next 10 pounds. If you want to see more people (of ALL AGES) stay and play, we need to be looking to play an infinite game–one where ‘winning’ is being healthy, happy, and engaged.

Movement For All: A Call to Courageous Action

For too long, we have treated play as a luxury that kids, as well as adults, could do without. But the time has come for us to recognize why play is worth defending: It is essential to leading a happy and healthy life. 


— David Elkind

Did you know that the average american is most physically active at age 6, and by 19, about as sedentary as a 60 year old? Over the last ten years there has been a steady decline in participation in sports and physical activity among youth as well as the rise of obesity among teens and adults. Add to that — National data reveals a startling 30% of adults do not engage in any leisure time physical activity , with less than half meeting or exceeding recommendations.

To sum it up: As most people grow up they are either losing or leaving behind play and physical activity.

However, evidence clearly supports that movement and play are critical to life long, whole human health not just for children, but teens, adults, and seniors as well. Beyond the physical benefits of strength, mobility, and dexterity, participation supports overall mental health. It has been shown to improve cognitive performance and learning, reduce the impact of stress, and support social and emotional development. It nurtures our confidence, curiosity, creativity, and sense of control. It brings us joy.

So if play is so important — why do we stop? The answer to that question is complex, and presents the problem we, as a community, need to solve together.

The Problem: Barriers to Play

There are major barriers to accessing and participating in physical activity and play. These include issues related to time, cost, location, and an individual social, emotional, and cultural context. To summarize a few of the largest, most robust issues:

COST
Inactivity has been shown to be directly linked to household income.
 Rising costs of equipment, league fees, gym memberships, and the costs associated with accessingquality coaching and learning tools all threaten participation.

TIME 
We live in a non-stop world
. Juggling work, school, and social schedules alongside long commuting times and other obligations often prevents us from fitting in time for play. Whats worse, we keep finding ways to cut play out. By 2017, over 30,000 schools in America eliminated recess to make more time for academics.

PHYSICAL ACCESS
Even if we have the money and time, physical access is the final hurdle.As the distance required to access play resources increases (fields, equipment, gyms, parks), participation declines — transportation is directly linked back to time and money. Additionally, many schools and cities have limited programs and services, making them fewer and farther in between.

SOCIAL, EMOTIONAL, CULTURAL ISSUES
Every individual brings a complex landscape of social, emotional, and cultural experiences that block participation
. Having negative experiences with sports and PE in youth, limiting stereotypes around gender, race, and status, fear of discrimination, competition, and self-consciousness are just a few.

…And The Seriousness of Life

In additional to all these barriers, the largest obstacle that we all face and must overcome is that as a society we are quick to devalue play. We hold this idea that life is serious, and that we need to prepare ourselves to deal with the seriousness of life. We must work and produce and constantly improve upon our human capital potential — which seemingly leaves no room for ‘unproductive’ pursuits.

How many of you have heard discouraging little phrases such as “quit playing around and get back to work?” Employees are constantly guilted into working late hours, students wear their lack of sleep like a badge of honor, and (financial, social) rewards are granted to those who work at the expense of all else.

This perception that play has limited value, combined with any of the barriers above, is a perfect recipe for a sedentary body and sick mind. As Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play, expressed: the opposite of play isn’t work, it’s depression.

Our Pledge: Movement For All

Brene Brown wrote, “It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”

#MovementForAll is a declaration that play is a human right, necessary for whole health — both for the individual and the collective.

It is a commitment to everyone having access to lifelong, playful movement and community.

It is a call to courageous action, and a promise we make together: to teach, build, and share an integrated path we discovered that fulfills this commitment — that path being parkour.

Depending on who you asked, Parkour is a sport, an art, a discipline. Practice involves running, climbing, jumping, swinging, crawling, rolling. Players create challenges for themselves in the environments they find using nothing more than their bodies, their imaginations, and, if available, their friends. It involves facing fears and learning to take intelligent risks, as well as building resiliency through physical and mental training.

Parkour is play grown-up.

And, when compared to conventional sports and outlets for play, parkour culture and philosophy can provide the necessary elements for life-long participation: Radical Inclusion, Resourceful Generosity, and Evolving Practice.

  • Radical Inclusion. Every ‘body’ is not only invited to participate but celebrated — any ability, size, color, age. Our community strives for a space of progressive practice, respectful language, and accountability. We reject gate-keeping and body-shaming. We use movement to create unity among diverging perspectives, for movement is a language we all speak.
  • Resourceful Generosity. We crowd-source solutions and educational tools, organize free classes and events, and foster leadership among all students. We are Go Getters and Go Givers, creating and sharing so that the collective can get stronger. Together we support one another in overcoming the financial, physical, and cultural obstacles that so commonly prevent access to other activities.
  • Evolving Practice. Our play needs to grow up with us if we are to play for life. Parkour ensures lifelong participation and community by giving people permission to change their practice as they grow. From exploration to competition to maintenance and back, from strength to mobility to balance and beyond. There is no fixed set of movements that must be achieved. There is no ageing out.

Move Your Way, Move With Us

So this is my call to action. I’m giving you a path to a life in play. Stand up and move. Move your way, move with us, and help us bring movement to all.

Over the last year I have been working closely with Parkour Visions, a non-profit with national initiatives to combine those values above with programs and services designed to break barriers of time, cost, and physical access. We are trying to get play back into the every day by:

These are just a few ways we have dreamed up getting more play into the everyday. However this change needs us working together if we are to create large scale cultural and societal impact. It needs new ideas, enthusiasm, and time… And, most of all, it needs you — you, choosing to show up and and be a stand for a world that embraces play as a positive, integral element of leading a whole, human life.


Help us make #MovementForAll a reality.

In 2019, Parkour Visions established the Movement For All Fund, dedicated to supporting programs and services that are breaking barriers and building bridges to play through parkour. In February, every donation is being matched up to $25,000 — that means whatever you give will be doubled! You can make a difference, and it can start here.

(PS. Always looking for collaborators — reach out!)

Financial, physical, and cultural barriers to participation.

On top of all these, there is the largest obstacle that we all face and must overcome: We as adults, and a society, are quick to devalue play. We hold this idea that life is serious, and that we need to prepare ourselves to deal with the seriousness of life. We must work and produce and constantly improve upon our human capital potential — which seemingly leaves no room for ‘unproductive’ play past childhood.

How many of you have heard or have been guilty of uttering discouraging little phrases such as “quit playing around,” or “get back to work”? It’s deeply embedded in our culture.

…And this perception combined with any of the barriers above is a perfect recipe for a sedentary and less fulfilling life. As Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play, expressed: the opposite of play isn’t work, it’s depression.

The Pledge: Movement For All

Brene Brown wrote, “It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”

#MovementForAll is a declaration that play is a human right, necessary for whole health — both for the individual and the collective.

It is a commitment to everyone having access to lifelong, playful movement and community.

It is a call to courageous action, and a promise we make together: to teach, build, and share the path we discovered to fulfilling this commitment — that path being parkour.

For those of you unfamiliar, Parkour is a sport, …an art, …a discipline. Practice involves running, climbing, jumping, swinging, crawling, rolling. Practitioners create challenges for themselves, in the environments they find, using nothing more than their bodies and their imaginations. It involves facing fears and learning to take intelligent risks, as well as building resiliency through physical and mental training.

When compared to conventional sports, parkour culture also uniquely offers the potential for Radical Inclusion, Resourceful Generosity, and Evolving Practice.

  • Radical Inclusion. Every ‘body’ is not only invited to participate but celebrated — any ability, size, color, age. Come as you are. We offer a space of progressive practice, respectful language, and accountability. We reject gate-keeping and body-shaming. We believe in using movement to create unity among diverging perspectives, because movement is a language we all speak.
  • Resourceful Generosity. We crowd-source solutions and educational tools, organize free classes and events, and foster new leaders. We are Go Getters and Go Givers, creating and sharing so that the collective can get stronger. Together we support one another in overcoming the financial, physical, and cultural obstacles that so commonly prevent access to other activities.
  • Evolving Practice. Our play needs to grow up with us if we are to play for life. We ensure lifelong participation and community by giving people permission to change their practice as they grow. From exploration to competition to maintenance and back. There is no ageing out.

Not sure if Parkour is for you? Read why you should consider picking it up…

Move Your Way, Move With Us

To that end, I believe in combining these values with programs and approaches focused on breaking barriers and increasing access to parkour and play for all.

So this my call to you, to take action, to create for yourself and others a space where we can play for now and for life. How will you help create #MovementForAll in your city?


Join my tribe dedicated to #MovementForAll: Parkour Visions.

PKV is a non-profit focused on ensuring everyone has a path to playful movement and community through parkour! Donate to our #MovementForAll Fund to support free and affordable programs and support services promoting play, parkour, coaching, and leadership.

Originally posted February 6, 2019 on Medium

Designing an Adaptive Obstacle Course

Adaptive Obstacle Course

Can we create an adaptive obstacle course where an adult with the full command of their body can run alongside a participant in a wheelchair or with a prosthetic… and both be able to have a physically challenging and engaging experience?

This was one of the most interesting design problems presented to me in the last few years.

The challenge wasn’t just about creating an accessible play experience, but an inclusive one. Accessible play experiences enable individuals in wheelchairs or with prosthetics to use play equipment and maneuver spaces safely. Inclusive play experiences go beyond and provide opportunities for individuals of all abilities to interact and play together.

Furthermore, I’ve seen plenty of accessible play spaces that are just boring. I believe we have advanced far enough in the design world to really begin thinking about how to design dynamic surfaces and sensory-rich spaces that allow both the 3 year old to play alongside the 13 year old, by wheel or foot.

So, with the Movement Creative and in collaboration with ACG and the NYC Department of Transportation Summer Streets Initiative, I designed the pilot version of the Adaptive Obstacle Course- an all-ages, all-abilities, wheel-chair accessible ‘pop-up’ obstacle course. Each element in the course was envisioned to be easily modifiable for the user body as needed, with safety and rigging systems designed into some of the more complex obstacles requiring prolonged hanging such as our canon ball alley, monkey bars, and traverse climbing wall. I also wanted to iterate a new version of a wooden pump track, typically used by bikes, to provide a combined walking, jumping, and riding challenge.

However, for this initial pilot build we had limited funding and faced some unique challenges when moving into the construction phase, especially since this was to be a temporary (less than 12 hours) built on the streets of NYC! We were limited to bringing some of the most modular of our equipment and limiting the roll out of rigging and larger build components.

Despite the financial and timeline restrictions, our team was able to create several new obstacles, including the rumble strips and dual-balance beams, which required both foot and wheel to navigate across. These two obstacles in particular were simple to build but challenging for all participants. The lily pads also ended up being a hit, as people could choose their own way of crossing — jumping, crawling, running, or navigating around.

Our team of volunteer facilitators were also awesome, providing open-ended guidance to participants and challenging everyone to find ‘their own way’ over, under, and through our course. I deeply believe that for design to really inspire and enable play, it must be paired with a community and culture that encourages self-expression, risk taking, and freedom to ‘rewrite the rules’ together.

Adaptive Obstacle Course

Play is Powerful! Bridging Loneliness Through Active Intergenerational Communities→

Why is #play powerful? Because it can connect people through time and across generations. A kid and a senior can share a memory over a streetgame played in youth and for a moment connect as humans, glimpse into a possible future and the forgotten past.

Intergenerational community is rare but incredibly powerful when it comes to creating possibilities, vision, health, hope, and joy.

Parkour is one of those unique spaces that can truly support intergen community. I look forward to the next 10, 20, 50+ years of movement and play in my life, and to be able to both watch and be apart of helping guide culture as our diverse leaders age up and new ones emerge. I am so inspired by Julie Angel s messaging around positive aging, the parkour over 40 fb group, the growth of PKMove / playful aging / Forever Young programs (including one we are doing with PKV in 2019) and the numerous practitioners (some who became best friends, my mentors, My students) I’ve met over the years through events and practice.

And mostly I am so so grateful to be apart of a sport / discipline / community that I can be apart of no matter how old I get, no matter how my body changes, no matter the place I am, no matter the money I make, no matter obstacles I face. There are so very few legitimate, meaningful communities and outlets like that in life–spaces without limitations or rules around participation.

It truly inspires me to ask more of my self, my body, my practice, my city, and my life, because I see others, older and younger, doing the same. And as a person, I more deeply understand my value as a human in this larger ecosystem–as a student/teacher, as a learner/leader–evolving, maturing, transforming.

We are neither young or old, we are human! Let’s play together.

Friendship, Vulnerability, Asking For Help, and West Wing→

A man was walking down a street when he fell into a hole and the walls were so steep he couldn’t get out. So the man in the hole began to cry out for help.

A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, ‘Hey you. Can you help me out?’ The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, ‘Father, I’m down in this hole can you help me out?’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on

Then a friend walks by, ‘Hey, Joe, it’s me can you help me out?’ And the friend jumps in the hole.

Our guy, aghast, says, ‘Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here.’ but his friend says, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before… and I know the way out.’

Right now, all of us are in one of two places: We are either stuck in a hole… or we’re walking along the street, able to see these holes all around, able to hear those calling out.

For those of you stuck, maybe you are too afraid to ask for help, or ashamed. Maybe you don’t realize you’re stuck or you convinced yourself its not that bad. Or maybe you have so many prescriptions and prayers piled up at your feet that you’ve all but given up hope of getting out.

Hold on. Keep going. There are those out there who will stop and help. And sometimes even the earth itself shifts and changes the landscape.

And for those of you walking on the street, I know its easier to throw prayers and prescriptions–likes, comments, critiques, judgments. It’s easier to keep walking along, minding your own business, taking care of yourself and yours.And that to jump down and help someone out, to make yourself vulnerable again, to give your most valuable resources of time, energy, and love to someone, can be scary–it might backfire, it might be difficult.

Be brave. Reach down. Jump in.

You don’t have to jump into every hole. That would be foolish, because you don’t know the way out of every hole. But you’ll know which ones are familiar, and which ones aren’t. Pick the ones you know.

If you want meaningful community and deeper friendship, you must also be willing to show up where you can. You must be willing to look up from your phone, move beyond your apathy or fear, and jump in.

M: On Friendship, Labels, and Language→

I’ve been having a couple of really fascinating conversations around friendship and language the last few days. Over the last decade, the integration of the internet into daily life has enabled us to sustain a larger number of personal, platonic relationships than in the past–with wide variances in levels of intimacy and mutual responsibility.

The word ‘friend’, which was past reserved for a smaller circle of intimate relationships, has been commodified and diluted..and is now used frequently and casually in modern society to describe this entire, wider spectrum–from casual acquaintances to those closest to our hearts.

There are a number of problems with this, but mostly, it is that this label of ‘Friend’ no longer communicates any meaningful information about the nature of that human connection or the level of intimacy and emotional truthfulness shared. Everyone has wildly different interpretations of the responsibilities that come with the assignment of the title of friend–with turmoil ensuing.

Brainpickings, a while back, made a pretty lovely post on the subject with a diagrammatic attempt to clarify this striation of platonic relationship. It definitely was a stand out in my memory, and informed my own private approach to understanding, clarifying, and categorizing the relationships in my life (which in turn helps me appropriately invest my time & energy).

Definitely take a read of this quick little article (like 6 minute read!). I also want to drop in this fantastic excerpt from Seneca( on the subject of friendship from Letters). I came across this about 10 years ago, and it definitely impacted the way I conceptualized and approached building my more meaningful Friend-ships.

“If you consider any man a friend whom you do not trust as you trust yourself, you are mightily mistaken and you do not sufficiently understand what true friendship means.

When friendship is settled, you must trust; before friendship is formed, you must pass judgment.

Those persons who put last first confound their duties–who judge a man after they have made him their friend, instead of making him their friend after they have judged him.

[So] ponder for a long time whether you shall admit a given person to your friendship; but when you have decided to admit him, welcome him with all your heart and soul. Speak as boldly with him as with yourself…”

On Having Difficult Conversations→

When facing a difficult conversation, (with partners, friends, family, etc) I learned to ask three questions:

Is what I have to say kind? 
Is it true? 
Is it necessary?

The first two build empathy and emotional awareness, but it’s the last question thats the most illuminating of the three–for the answer reflects how much you value the continuation and growth of that relationship.

Congruence, Trust, and Personal Integrity In Our Commitments→

When honoring your commitments becomes too hard, you have two choices: you can change your behavior to meet your commitment or you can change your values to meet your behaviors. One choice will strengthen your integrity and the other with will erode it.-Stephen Covey

Powerful reality in simple terms. Whether it is a commitment to yourself, others, a company, or a community, whether it is an agreement explicit or implicit. Taking ownership of our commitments, and acknowledging the impact of our behaviors, is a critical element of trust and relationship building

Tied to this is the concept of congruence and dissonance. A common phrase I often hear is about how we shouldn’t listen to what people say and instead look at what they do when it comes to determining character and quality. 🤔However, while there is certainly some valuable information to be gathered in that observation, I think it is incredibly important not only to hear what someone says, but to see if someone matches what they say with equivalent action. This 🙌Congruence🙌–the alignment of word and action– consistently over time, is the basis of trust and integrity.

Dissonance, meanwhile, is the opposite, and happens at all scales. Dissonance in our lives appears in small ways, such as saying you’ll get up at 7 and yet still snoozing until 8, or that you won’t eat sugar and yet still have a little chocolate after dinner to promising to send an email tonight and not doing it until tomorrow….. up to larger scales such as being lazy at work or doing the bare minimum after promising excellence; It’s deprioritizing people you say are important–ie not calling back or standing someone up or giving them time. And at the height, its major breaks of trust and commitment.

And each moment of dissonance, large or small, adds up. It not only harms the trust others have in you but the trust you have in yourself.

The Speed of Trust and Building Congruence in Your Life

📘🧙‍♂️
I recently finished the book Speed of Trust, and it suggests 3 things you can do to level up and improve rate of congruence in your life… to help in building deeper trust:

  • 1️⃣ don’t make too many commitments. Time is a limited, invaluable resource and each commitment you make requires a certain amount. Make sure you’re committing that time to who and what and where it matters. people? self-improvement goals? your degree program? business projects?
  • ️2️⃣️ treat commitments to yourself, large and small, (ie that alarm clock, your gym new years resolution, your dieting habits) as seriously as those you make to others. If you can’t trust yourself why should any anyone else? trust starts with you.
  • 3️⃣️ don’t make commitments impulsively or hastily. Think through the entire lifecycle of a commitment. Discuss them with your partners, boss, associates, friends, or self. Make sure you are on the same page and can honor what you claim you can, to the level expected.

These three stepping stones can get you pretty far actually in building better trust-founded relationships. But what isn’t mentioned here is what to do when you break a commitment–when dissonance resonates?

Resorting Integrity in the Face of Dissonance

Personally, despite my best efforts, I’ve been guilty of dissonance and still on occasion find that I have made a commitment I either can not or am not actually willing to meet.❌What I have learned is that the only way to restore trust, and my integrity, and get back on track is

  • 🔸 take ownership. admit you had and broke a commitment
  • 🔸 acknowledge the impact. recognize that there are levels of impact–on your communities, your partners/friends emotions and well being, on the performance of your organization, etc. what are they? this is an important step because you also begin to understand why YOU are important, and why your commitment was important to begin with
  • 🔸 renew the commitment, re-negotiate it, or terminate it. here is an opportunity again to set accurate expectations, make appropriate commitments, and move forward in a space of trust and integrity.

At the end of the day we should all be striving to achieve high levels of congruence in our lives, where people can trust us–that our actions and words will align. Congruence inspires confidence and trust, and demonstrates not only high levels of integrity but a capacity to make meaningful commitments–and it sits at the heart of what it is to be a Leader.

And.. whether you are a leader in a large space or just leading your own life, congruence will help you show up better not only to yourself, but to your partners, co-workers, and friends.⚔️

Reflections:

  • Where and with who or what do you have commitments, and what are they?
  • Do you accept those commitments as they are or do they need to be renegotiated?
  • Which commitments trump others when there are conflicts of action?
  • Are your words congruent with your actions?
  • Who and what matters to you, and are your actions communicating that they matter to you in a consistent manner?