Tag: Anxiety

Plans are worthless, but planning is everything.

— President Dwight D. Eisenhower

This.

I am starting to recognize planning or, really, lack thereof, is one of the larger sources of anxiety in my life.  Most of us like to make plans, set up lists of things that need to happen, or create scenarios of how a certain event should go.  Back in January I decided I would drive all the way down to Texas (from NYC) and back over the course of 2 weeks to attend an event.  The weeks leading up, I planned the shit out of this journey.  I figured out sleeping accommodations, best routes, places to eat, people and sights to see.  I planned and planned in hopes of making my journey as smooth as possible.

However, planning, or over-planning, in my case, worked to my detriment. I created absolute-scenarios, with no wiggle room, what-if backups, and built-in flexibility.  We departed NYC a lot later than we were supposed to (3 days late in fact).  To me, I thought eh not too bad, we can make that through… But when over the journey we decided to detour through Georgia to pick up another person, got stopped by the police in Tennessee, couldn’t make it to our sleeping arrangements in time, and had our tires wear too thin, I slipped in to full blown anxiety mode.

This is the place you never want to get.  You never want to let your well-intentioned planning to lead to ultimate emotional disaster.  This trip ended up being significantly more stressful than I wanted and I ended up spending a lot of time worrying and not enough time enjoying myself. 

But planning, when done right, should only increase the opportunity to enjoy without worry.  There just so happens to be the right way to plan and the wrong.  Here are my tips to making great plans that will reduce your stress and keep you flexible:

1. Write down what you want to do and why

Did you want to take a trip to texas?  Meet for drinks? Build a business?  Audition for a choir? Get a passing grade on that upcoming test?  Write clearly what your ultimate goal/plan/end is.  This will give you a good foundation to return to.

Let’s use my trip for an example.  I want to drive down to Texas to attend the Parkour Event in San Antonio because I have a little extra money, want to see different parts of the country.  Plus I would love to have an adventure with Jesse.

2. Write down your fantasy-scenario, but only with the necessities.

Here you get to daydream a bit.  Play out the event from now until finish.  What is your most ideal way of seeing things pan out?  However, don’t go in to too much detail.  Just hit the big ones. 

I dreamt that the ride down to texas would be leisurely.  We would leave with a week+ of time before the event, arrive at my friends house in Ohio, check out the city, and sleep there a night, we would then drive down to another friend in Kansas, and then finally in to San Antonio.  Back up we’d go up the East coast, stopping in South Carolina to see my Aunt and then DC to see my best friend, and finally back to NYC.

Sounds lovely right?  And in this broad stroke I didn’t include all the extra stops I’d need, the things I’d want to do in each city–I left the little details to the wind.  This ensures you don’t build play-by-play expectations (which 100% of the time fail to live up) and keeps you flexible!

3. If-This, Then-This

Now look at your broad stroke and start playing devils advocate.  What if something goes wrong?  What if you get sick and can’t study for three days/nights?  What if your car breaks down?  What if your major investor suddenly falls through?

If-This, Then-This’s are alternate scenarios you build, visualizations you engage in, that allow you to say… if this happens, then this is what we will do.  It is a great way to build flexibility in to your plans.  The more flexible you are, the less stress it will be when things go wrong.

I should have said, if we can’t make it to ohio on time, then find a hotel nearby where we are and tell my friend ill see her soon.  if we can’t make it to ohio at all because we are behind schedule, then we will pass through it briefly (stopping to see a few cool pieces of architecture) and sleep in a different down miles away.

Seems like a stupid exercise, but the more scenarios you can visualize and deal with before they occur, the more relaxed and capable you will be when dealing with them in the future.

4. Establish your Boundaries and non-negotiables

This final step is so important.  Do you need to eat by 9pm?  Do you need to visit Ohio?  Do you need to be partnered up with Acme Adventures Ltd?  

The final step in this process is figuring out what your absolutes are.  What must you do in order to ensure your happiness and success in this scenario?  If not seeing your friend in ohio is going to ruin your entire trip, then make it a priority–make your if-this, then-thats cater to ensuring that you do make it to ohio, sleep over at her house, and see all the amazing architecures that the city has to offer.

And Finally, breathe.

If you get to the point where you still feel overwhelmed, sometimes just stepping back and away is the best thing you can do.  Take a deep breath, a nap if necessary, and revisit the issue.

Planning is a tool to help you deal with complex situations.  When done correctly, planning will keep you cool and calm in a headache of situation, planning will reduce your worry and keep you focused, planning will help you figure out your next steps.  It makes you a more effective problem solver, a more efficient and productive worker, and a more relaxed and flexible traveler!

The trick is to never be finished with your planning.  Never come to an end and say, ‘Ah-ha! this is it! This is the final plan!’  You should never have a single, finalized plan that needs to be followed to the T ….for as they say, if it can go wrong, it will.  Just keep flexible and let your ‘plan’ be in actuality a big deck of cards that you can pick and choose from as your situation changes.