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2017 Gratitude

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us; As they say, if it does not challenge you, it will not change you.”

The end of 2017 feels less like the end of year and more like an end of a personal era in my life. This last year alone was defined by some of the largest, life-changing challenges I have faced to date:

👉 I ended what I thought would be a lifelong commitment and left my baby and passion project, The Movement Creative
👉 I released myself from an unhealthy and conditioned attachment to my ‘expected career path’ by leaving the architectural profession (and my job at Parks).
👉 I retired an out-of-date vision of my future life and left NYC.

I also came to terms with reality and ‘cleaned house’ by letting go of possessions, relationships, and projects that, while giving me something once, were ultimately compromising my happiness.

To be honest: The process was terrifying. The anxiety and stress felt around these decisions and actions compares to nothing I have otherwise experienced in life. I mean, I pulled away some of the largest stones in the foundation of who I was for the last 10 years, tearing down the world I had spent my life to date building and investing in. For lack of a better phrase, I was undoing ‘me’. And, while there was the part of me that knew this was the right next step, I constantly battled uncertainty and self-doubt.

However, as the dust settled, instead of losing my sense of self, I actually ended up finding real personal clarity. I’ve moved across the country and am now making a home in Seattle, I joined an organization that has real potential to make positive impact on peoples lives and aligns with my purpose, and I’ve found the next path forward in my life. I’ve been given opportunities to share my belief in the power of play and design to positively transform life, including travelling across the world, speaking at conferences and to crowds of mayors, building playgrounds and public art, and collaborating with incredible partners.

I understand better who, what, and where to invest my time, energy, and love in, and when and how to let go. I found my WHY, and am now happier than I have ever been in my life.

And none of this–NONE of it–would be possible without all the incredible human beings who continue to choose to be apart of my life. Though I feel an incredible amount of gratitude, I don’t take time often enough to thank everyone who contributes to me and my wellbeing.

So here goes… 
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

❤️ Foremost, I have to thank my family. I feel like I never fully understood the depth of unconditional love they have for me until this past year. When things fall apart, they are there first. As I faced some of my deepest shame and admitted all the ways I felt I failed in my life, they embraced and loved me nevertheless..and reminded me that my value as a person isn’t tied to what I do, where I live, or how much money I make. Their only expectation of me was to find and live my happiness. This realization freed me from something I didn’t know was holding me back. Knowing they will be there no matter where my path leads, (and that dinner will always be on Sundays,) gives me the courage to go.

Megan Aileen Samantha Pontrella Vinny James + Dad, mom, and all my aunts, uncles, and cousins (tagged below)

❤️ And, as many experience, not all family is blood. I’m grateful to count a second family. You took my side, stood up and advocated for me, regularly reminded me of the person I want to be when I struggled to remember, and put up with me when I fell short of being my best self. Late night calls and coffees, wednesday jumps, city explorations, soulcycles, last minute trips, and more. Without you, my day to day would be dull and my personal growth but a shade of whats been achieved.

Steve Lee Ung Melanie Hunt Fiona Leslie Steve Zavitz Romna BegumThomas Dolan Mike Araujo Sha Mualimm-Ak Sam Pee Nikkie ZanevskyDanielle Hare

❤️ Finally, I have to thank my world-wide network of relationships: friends, professionals, mentors, and partners past present future, who gift me with a sounding board when I have problems to solve and a bed when visiting, engage in provocative conversation, keep me modest through critique and laughter, and inspire me to constantly raise higher each year my standards of excellence, professionalism, and kindness. Where my family helps me stay connected to my sense of self, you all help me stay connected to my sense of purpose and work with me to achieve it.

The Art of Retreat – Womens Gathering – USPKA committee
Movement Game Library – Citylab connections – USPlay connections
Studio Madefor

Alan Bao Tran Adam McClellan Andy Keller Darryl Milton
Mark Toorock Blake Blaké Evitt Amos Galileo Rendao Michael Frosti ZernowVanya Procopovich 
Natalie Strasser Natalia LaPré Boltukhova Alyssa Serpa
(and SO MANY MORE… I’ve ran out of tags, but I’ll drop you all in to the comments…)

❤️ Also quick thank you to all in Seattle who have gone out of their way to make me feel welcome; I can’t wait to see what we will create here!: Zachary Cohn Lauryl Sumner Zenobi Eric Jusino Beth Jusino Brandee Laird Colin MacDonald Aristoteli Zherdi Justin Sweeney Bryan Riggins Filip TuhyArkady Ivanovich Svidrigailov Juliet Barber Vong

WRAP UP

I’m going to wrap this era up, (and this post), in some inspirational and powerful way… I hope. So, in return for challenging me to be my best self, I promise to challenge all of you in the same way now and into the future. And, though this might be a little silly, I am going to start this pledge now by sharing the three most important bits of advice I received from others this year:

1️⃣ You need to take risks. shake things up. do the uncomfortable–especially when you know its right. You won’t always ‘win’ but damn, its better to fail than to fall complacent.

2️⃣ Be kind to yourself, be vulnerable with others, and let yourself let go of the things that cause you saddness or shame–it’s stopping you from showing up today and writing the story you want.

3️⃣ Last, since this status is all about the importance of PEOPLE & COMMUNITY… let’s finish with the lesson that was hardest for me to learn: Stop putting up with people in your life who drain you! Stop waiting for people to come back, to change, to give a damn! Instead, get into the company of people who celebrate you, who feed your soul. Choose to be with those who chose you. If you aren’t sure who they are, look around: I have found that those who are worth investing your time, energy, and love in will show up, stand up, and stay in the ways that matter, (especially when it matters.).

So thank you everyone for showing up for me, standing up for me, and choosing to be apart of my journey. I am so very grateful and can’t wait to face new and incredible challenges in 2018 with your support and love!❤️

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2017.11.30 On Risk-Taking

“I have noticed that doing the sensible thing is only a good idea when the decision is quite small. For the life-changing things, you must risk it.” – Jeanette Winterson

When faced with a big decision, I often feel a little paralyzed. The peacekeeper between my reason and my passion paces full force back and forth in my mind, trying to find a way out of the mess.

I long for clarity. I crave a clear path. I desire security.

But I know there is none.

The future is and will be uncertain. I can not control the outcome. All I know is that I have the strength to endure, great love to give, and the longing to live a loud, exuberant life.

To change careers. To move across country. To love again.
These things change lives, and I must open myself to them if I am going to change mine.

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Picard and a Key Lesson on Leadership

“My favorite Star Trek episode is “Attached.” 

Dr. Crusher and Captain Picard can hear each others thoughts. They’re lost in a desert. Picard stops, he looks around, and confidently proclaims, “This way.” Dr. Crusher knows that the Captain has no clue which way to go and she calls him on it. Captain Picard doles out some great advice. He tells her that being Captain doesn’t mean he has all the answers but it does mean that he has to lead. Even if he doesn’t know which way to go right now, he must decide. The point is, he has the confidence to know that he’ll figure it out soon.”

-Biz Stone

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Closing Circles – Paulo Coelho

“One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?

You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.
You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.

But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister.

Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.

Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.
Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.

Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.

Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.

This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

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Parkour and Your Personal Power

Most people go through life feeling powerless.

We feel marginalized, unimportant, defeated by our circumstances. There is a constant sense of being ‘less than’ and not good enough, and an even stronger story that suggests we have no power in this world to meaningfully create the change we want to see. Our personal success is measured only against the success of others, and there is always someone more powerful than them, exerting, controlling.
We are victims or failures, always falling short.

We can see this mindset manifested in our lives every day as we cautiously navigate harsh office politics, struggle quietly through school, work, & test anxiety, burn out in unforgiving sporting competitions, and ruthlessly pick apart our imperfect social lives & families.

It’s a mindset that is unforgiving, and leads to a sense of depression, insecurity, and powerlessness.

We need a way to break free.

Cue: Parkour

This is why parkour has resonated deeply with so many people, especially those who regularly face stress and externally-driven competition in their lives. When you confront and overcome a particularly difficult mental or physical challenge in parkour, when you lift something very heavy, when you send a problem you’ve been working towards for hours: you feel powerful. You have a deep, direct, embodied experience of that shows you to yourself that yes, you can.

Can you recall that exuberance, that exhilaration of achievement that expands in your chest when you overcome a physical or mental challenge encountered in your practice—your jumps, climbs, and lifts? And how you are not only ready but eager for the next?

You feel strong, capable, and satisfied. You feel a sense of fulfillment and hunger. Joy.

And through parkour you can go out and feel that any time you want.

You Have The Tools

Through the practice of parkour, you begin to deeply understand that YOU have the tools and the power to overcome your obstacles & challenges by

  1. The consistent training of your body and mind,
  2.  Embracing failure as a healthy part of the process of growth (and subsequent patience in those failures)
  3. Seeking reconciliation with yourself & others in those shortcomings, and
  4. Creatively and openly seeking new paths to old problems.

…And that power you feel? It is gold. It is clean and honest. It is not the power you find through the domination and control of others, but rather the mastery and control of yourself. This personal power is more than an attitude or state of mind; it is a sense of vision, of personal generosity, creativity, and self-assertion.

These critical skills, this positive mindset: This is where the magic of parkour really happens.

Through the emergence and nurturing of your personal power and your practice of parkour, you will eventually also start to realize you have the power and ability to face any of the obstacles in your life with a similar mindset. The skills and sense of power developed originally by jumping on things can spill over into other areas of your life: work, love, family, finances, etc. If you can learn to channel that power and repurpose those lessons from parkour, you will be unstoppable.

…Ok ok. So let’s just be real here for a second.

No, the world will not change because you are doing parkour, climbing, or lifting, or whatever it is you do to get to this place. The obstacles you will face will still be real, painful, ugly, brutal, and sometimes unjust. Your boss might fire you, your work might be unfulfilling, a coworker might take advantage of you. .Your exams may overwhelm, your student debt might feel crushing, your peers will still compete against and compare you. Your family may fall apart, your lover may cheat, and your health may end up failing.  The people in your life, including those that you love and trust, may end up judging you, belittling and marginalizing you, betraying and abandoning you.

So don’t get carried away. Parkour cannot change the world.

But it can change your world.

Parkour can give you a new mindset, a deep, personal sense of power to overcome obstacles in your world—where you will be able to approach those obstacles not as fearsome walls blocking your way but rather opportunities for growth and learning. You will be prepared to face a challenge from a place of patience, calculation, self-honesty, and love: and a knowing that you willsucceed—even if it is not how you expected.

Because you are powerful. You are strong, capable, focused, in control of your emotions, and creative. Powerful is not a state of being but a way of living and thinking.

So there it is.  Finally, I understand. This is why I want to share parkour with others. This is why I took up the helm at Parkour Visions, and continue to run the Women’s Gathering and The Art of Retreat, why I helped found The Movement Creative, the Movement Game Library, and the Movement Snacks initiative. Why I run around like a crazy person, working 80, 90, 100+ hour weeks trying to increase access to opportunities for parkour and play.

I’m not here competing with anyone. I’m here living my vision for a better world, trying to give to others a taste of their own personal power.

Because everyone should have a way of living that empowers them.I want to help them find their power.

This is my calling.

This article was updated December 2018, and originally published in 2017.