“…we bring playfulness to bear in our social interactions we create a spirit of equality and personal freedom that allows us to overcome our equally human drive to dominate one another.” – Peter Gray
Unhealthy Patterns
“Blame the pattern not the person.”
When we effectively use our relationships and friendships as insight to inform our personal growth, it no longer becomes about what someone said or did or did not do. Instead of picking apart their rationale, punishing them, withdrawing love and trust…. we can choose to turn inwards and use our negative feelings as a source of self inquiry.
The reality is we all have unhealthy patterns and stories that do not serve us. We sometimes end up stuck, choosing people and engaging in behaviors that seem to be repeating patterns and stories we know aren’t good for us, not necessarily because we haven’t grown but because there is past hurt that has not been fully healed.
I was reminded today to not push blame or feel shame when I recognized I was repeating an old unhealthy pattern. Rather, embrace it as a chance to try again with my new tools.
We often repeat patterns because our souls want to heal, grow, and rise in love. It is an opportunity to rebuild self love and trust, as well as author new endings and outcomes. …to have a deep experience of our own growth.
It’s most important to give yourself Patience In the process, kindness in the face of failure, and commitment to creating relationships, patterns, and situations that more fully honor you!
Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us. […] Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.
– When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
On Burnout
I’ve had a few conversations around work life balance this past week with some close friends. In a world where value as a human is often conflated with your level of production, it’s easy to get stuck in a vicious cycle where you deprioritize self care and rest.
I’ve definitely been guilty of this, especially when I’m excited about what I’m working on. Routine and deeply setting healthy habits are two powerful ways to beat burn out and keep balance, as well as learning the power of saying No to people and projects that are not actually important!
You are allowed to make yourself and your mental health a priority!
“In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone.”
Rollo May
“When we adults unite play, love, and work in our lives, we set an example that our children can follow. That just might be the best way to bring play back into the lives of our children—and build a more playful culture.” – David Elkind, Can We Play?
What example are you setting for those in your life?