The most important love you can cultivate in your life is self love… For when you love yourself, you make healthier decisions–You stop settling for people, jobs, habits that don’t serve or grow you. You start standing for the life you deserve and stepping towards being your best self.
Every morning I wake up to the quote above my head, painted on to my ceiling, that says “You did not wake up to be mediocre.” I think we all need little reminders to think and be bigger than the smallness that the tedium of life can force upon us at times. When I first came across the above image, it immediately resonated–and had me typing up my own version.
Wake up early.
Work hard, believe in yourself, and be ambitious.
yes you can make the world better.Know who you are
and who matters to you;
Keep your priorities straight,
and make yourself a priority.Clear your mind of the junk,
check your emotions for sanity,
and keep your head up
even when you’re leagues under.Do what you love,
love what you do,
and stop putting off starting.
You likely will never feel enough–
smart enough
strong enough
healed enough
ready enoughSomething will always come up,
– C Pontrella, 2017
get in the way.
The timing might never be ‘right’
because there is never going to be a ‘right’ time,
a ‘better’ time
than now.
I have consistently heard from others the deep longing for change, growth, love–and seen no action. Fear, the desire for security, the longing for a sense of completion before continuation, the resistance of the uncomfortable or inconvenient.
Happiness requires risk taking. It’s a risk to quit your job, to travel to new places alone, to love. You might get hurt. Heck, no, you definitely will get hurt. But it’s not safer to stay at home and play it safe–in fact, that is the only path that guarantees unhappiness.
I like this picture, and having reminders in your life to take a leap, and to look for the places where you might just be holding back.
Do this: Write your own call to action. Start with the phrase “Wake up” and write your daily reminders to take risk, love deeply, live inquisitively….
“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us; As they say, if it does not challenge you, it will not change you.”
The end of 2017 feels less like the end of year and more like an end of a personal era in my life. This last year alone was defined by some of the largest, life-changing challenges I have faced to date:
👉 I ended what I thought would be a lifelong commitment and left my baby and passion project, The Movement Creative
👉 I released myself from an unhealthy and conditioned attachment to my ‘expected career path’ by leaving the architectural profession (and my job at Parks).
👉 I retired an out-of-date vision of my future life and left NYC.
I also came to terms with reality and ‘cleaned house’ by letting go of possessions, relationships, and projects that, while giving me something once, were ultimately compromising my happiness.
To be honest: The process was terrifying. The anxiety and stress felt around these decisions and actions compares to nothing I have otherwise experienced in life. I mean, I pulled away some of the largest stones in the foundation of who I was for the last 10 years, tearing down the world I had spent my life to date building and investing in. For lack of a better phrase, I was undoing ‘me’. And, while there was the part of me that knew this was the right next step, I constantly battled uncertainty and self-doubt.
However, as the dust settled, instead of losing my sense of self, I actually ended up finding real personal clarity. I’ve moved across the country and am now making a home in Seattle, I joined an organization that has real potential to make positive impact on peoples lives and aligns with my purpose, and I’ve found the next path forward in my life. I’ve been given opportunities to share my belief in the power of play and design to positively transform life, including travelling across the world, speaking at conferences and to crowds of mayors, building playgrounds and public art, and collaborating with incredible partners.
I understand better who, what, and where to invest my time, energy, and love in, and when and how to let go. I found my WHY, and am now happier than I have ever been in my life.
And none of this–NONE of it–would be possible without all the incredible human beings who continue to choose to be apart of my life. Though I feel an incredible amount of gratitude, I don’t take time often enough to thank everyone who contributes to me and my wellbeing.
So here goes…
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
❤️ Foremost, I have to thank my family. I feel like I never fully understood the depth of unconditional love they have for me until this past year. When things fall apart, they are there first. As I faced some of my deepest shame and admitted all the ways I felt I failed in my life, they embraced and loved me nevertheless..and reminded me that my value as a person isn’t tied to what I do, where I live, or how much money I make. Their only expectation of me was to find and live my happiness. This realization freed me from something I didn’t know was holding me back. Knowing they will be there no matter where my path leads, (and that dinner will always be on Sundays,) gives me the courage to go.
Megan Aileen Samantha Pontrella Vinny James + Dad, mom, and all my aunts, uncles, and cousins (tagged below)
❤️ And, as many experience, not all family is blood. I’m grateful to count a second family. You took my side, stood up and advocated for me, regularly reminded me of the person I want to be when I struggled to remember, and put up with me when I fell short of being my best self. Late night calls and coffees, wednesday jumps, city explorations, soulcycles, last minute trips, and more. Without you, my day to day would be dull and my personal growth but a shade of whats been achieved.
Steve Lee Ung Melanie Hunt Fiona Leslie Steve Zavitz Romna BegumThomas Dolan Mike Araujo Sha Mualimm-Ak Sam Pee Nikkie ZanevskyDanielle Hare
❤️ Finally, I have to thank my world-wide network of relationships: friends, professionals, mentors, and partners past present future, who gift me with a sounding board when I have problems to solve and a bed when visiting, engage in provocative conversation, keep me modest through critique and laughter, and inspire me to constantly raise higher each year my standards of excellence, professionalism, and kindness. Where my family helps me stay connected to my sense of self, you all help me stay connected to my sense of purpose and work with me to achieve it.
The Art of Retreat – Womens Gathering – USPKA committee
Movement Game Library – Citylab connections – USPlay connections
Studio Madefor
Alan Bao Tran Adam McClellan Andy Keller Darryl Milton
Mark Toorock Blake Blaké Evitt Amos Galileo Rendao Michael Frosti ZernowVanya Procopovich
Natalie Strasser Natalia LaPré Boltukhova Alyssa Serpa
(and SO MANY MORE… I’ve ran out of tags, but I’ll drop you all in to the comments…)
❤️ Also quick thank you to all in Seattle who have gone out of their way to make me feel welcome; I can’t wait to see what we will create here!: Zachary Cohn Lauryl Sumner Zenobi Eric Jusino Beth Jusino Brandee Laird Colin MacDonald Aristoteli Zherdi Justin Sweeney Bryan Riggins Filip TuhyArkady Ivanovich Svidrigailov Juliet Barber Vong
WRAP UP
I’m going to wrap this era up, (and this post), in some inspirational and powerful way… I hope. So, in return for challenging me to be my best self, I promise to challenge all of you in the same way now and into the future. And, though this might be a little silly, I am going to start this pledge now by sharing the three most important bits of advice I received from others this year:
1️⃣ You need to take risks. shake things up. do the uncomfortable–especially when you know its right. You won’t always ‘win’ but damn, its better to fail than to fall complacent.
2️⃣ Be kind to yourself, be vulnerable with others, and let yourself let go of the things that cause you saddness or shame–it’s stopping you from showing up today and writing the story you want.
3️⃣ Last, since this status is all about the importance of PEOPLE & COMMUNITY… let’s finish with the lesson that was hardest for me to learn: Stop putting up with people in your life who drain you! Stop waiting for people to come back, to change, to give a damn! Instead, get into the company of people who celebrate you, who feed your soul. Choose to be with those who chose you. If you aren’t sure who they are, look around: I have found that those who are worth investing your time, energy, and love in will show up, stand up, and stay in the ways that matter, (especially when it matters.).
So thank you everyone for showing up for me, standing up for me, and choosing to be apart of my journey. I am so very grateful and can’t wait to face new and incredible challenges in 2018 with your support and love!❤️
“I have noticed that doing the sensible thing is only a good idea when the decision is quite small. For the life-changing things, you must risk it.” – Jeanette Winterson
When faced with a big decision, I often feel a little paralyzed. The peacekeeper between my reason and my passion paces full force back and forth in my mind, trying to find a way out of the mess.
I long for clarity. I crave a clear path. I desire security.
But I know there is none.
The future is and will be uncertain. I can not control the outcome. All I know is that I have the strength to endure, great love to give, and the longing to live a loud, exuberant life.
To change careers. To move across country. To love again.
These things change lives, and I must open myself to them if I am going to change mine.
“My favorite Star Trek episode is “Attached.”
Dr. Crusher and Captain Picard can hear each others thoughts. They’re lost in a desert. Picard stops, he looks around, and confidently proclaims, “This way.” Dr. Crusher knows that the Captain has no clue which way to go and she calls him on it. Captain Picard doles out some great advice. He tells her that being Captain doesn’t mean he has all the answers but it does mean that he has to lead. Even if he doesn’t know which way to go right now, he must decide. The point is, he has the confidence to know that he’ll figure it out soon.”
-Biz Stone
“One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.
You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.
But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister.
Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.
Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.
Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.
Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.
Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.
This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.
Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
