People place too much weight upon the expectations of others. They make decisions and choices based on a vision of success someone else has defined for them.
And of course, I think it is hard sometimes to identify your own goals, and your own purpose, free from the influence of the voices of others. We’ve been conditioned all our lives to listen to the voices of others. We have been told, since childhood, what the looks and measures of success are.
Have you graduated college? How much money are you making? How much power? Are you recongized by others for your accomplishments? Do you have a happy marriage–are you married at all? Do you have children? One? Two? Do you have a big house and a backyard and some dogs? Do you have two cars? Can you take two vacations a year?
It starts when you’re younger and grows up with you, in you. And then you are an adult and you find that you undervalue happiness and overvalue this predefined notion of success.
You’ll choose a job that makes others happy, jealous, proud–your parents, your peers, your ex’s and so forth. You tie yourself down, settle in before you’re ready, because its expected.
You never stop and ask yourself–what is success–for me? What is happiness, for me?
So my advice is to step back. Your unhappiness and anxiety in your life, with your decisions, are usually a product of trying to meet someone elses expectations & ideals. Figure out what will make you happy–and make that your goal, your standard of success.
You still got to work to live, but if you’re not happy–well, youre wasting your only life. Happiness should not be ‘optional’ to success.